Two years ago, just a few minutes past midnight, I shook my husband awake. “Time this…ok, how long was that?” My husband, bleary eyes instantly becoming huge, said, “Oh my God. That was only a minute.” He shot out of bed and started getting things in the pickup.
Seeing as this was my first child, I was really dumb. I kept calling the hospital earlier that afternoon and asking them if I should come. They told me that if I felt I was in labor I should come, but it could be a false alarm, which is common for first-time moms.
I didn’t want to miss work that Monday for a false alarm, so I waited…from 5:00PM until after midnight when I kept getting woke up by twinges of pain. I also waited until there was a complete ND, white-out blizzard. If you’ve ever been to the mid-west during one of its blizzards, y’all know what I’m talking about. Plus we had to drive 75 miles to get to my hospital. We barely made it on the interstate before highway patrol shut it down. The going was slow and no visibility at times, but we made it. I called my mom 10 minutes from the hospital to tell her because I knew if I called her before I left she would have called the ambulance. Anyway, we made it, I got roomed and was 6cm along when I arrived.
At 11:27AM my life changed forever. I was greeted by a pair a beautiful eyes (and chin) that mimicked mine in the most perfect way. It’s amazing how natural everything comes when you have a baby. Well, most everything. I can’t say it was always easy, but I trusted myself to know what was best. I remember soaking in my epsom salt bath looking up articles on how to breastfeed or what temperature was best for his room. I remember trying to change his diaper for the first time and wondering how in the heck I never learned this in 25 years. I worried constantly about if I did the right thing.
I don’t think the worrying stops, but today I have a happy, healthy two year old. I did everything I thought was best as a mom. He walks, he can slay any animal noise, he’s independent, a daredevil, and loves his puppy and kitty. He’s smiley and active, and while he can throw a mean tantrum when he doesn’t get his way, he can also give the sweetest kisses.
He’s the reason this blog got started. I wanted to document my weight loss journey, and I named my blog Living 4 T because that’s what I am doing: I’m living for my son, Tristan. I’m becoming more positive, more energized, more active for him so he can grow up to be a good person who leads a healthy life too. His presence has made me want to be a healthier person, so I’m setting an example for the beautiful boy that graced my life two years ago. I’m living for today, tomorrow, and Tristan.
Happy 2nd birthday, sweetheart. Mommy loves you more than you’ll ever know. Thank you for making me a better person and for helping me to believe in myself, that I’m worth it.