Progress!

I think we all know that one person throughout our journey that truly just wants to see us fail, or perhaps they are just so unhappy with themselves that they want to see us in the same boat. Misery likes company, right? I wouldn’t necessarily say my mother in law wants me to fail, but during Easter she said something that bothered me a bit longer than it should have.

Throughout this weight-loss journey, I am also working on and patience and letting go. I’m learning to not take things so personally and brush them off. This one took me a bit longer, but I have been able to brush it off since, and I find it has strengthened me. At Easter my family gave me Kind bars because they know the hard work I have dedicated to trying to change my eating habits. At my son’s birthday, which we had on the 2nd, my mother in law brought a tote (yes, a tote–a small tote, but a tote nonetheless) of candy for my husband and I. Reeses, Werthers, gummies, you name it. I was kind of being pushed to eat it, and I said, “We’re trying really hard to eat clean and healthy.” She said, “Well you’re in the wrong family then!” And she managed to add a snarky laugh afterwards as well for good measure.

I let it bother me longer than it should have, as I said. I stewed. How dare she say that to me? I work my a double s off, and we are trying to be healthy. What is wrong with that? We are taking care of ourselves! Who is she to say otherwise and make such a naive comment?

Deep breaths. Get your mind centered.

I’m glad she said it. I’m glad she put that out there in front my my whole family and her own. Because in that moment I wasn’t the one that looked weak (and I won’t be the weak one going forward either). I have a choice–I can either let that comment chip away at my happiness, or I can use it to fuel myself to work harder and prove that our journey is making a healthier difference in our lives.

So after the party ended, I boxed up all the candy. My husband took half to work with him, and I took half to work with me to share with our coworkers. In the last month of our clean eating journey I have lost nearly 8 pounds, and I have started lifting. I am in beast mode. I am proud of myself. I am strong. For the first time in my LIFE I love myself. I don’t wake up, pinch my fat in front of the mirror and sigh. I don’t talk down to myself. I’ve embraced that if this is the body I live in for the rest of my life, I’m ok with that, but I am always going to strive to be healthier and not give up, no matter what anyone might say.

Recipe Time

What’s a post without some food? Haha. I don’t know if I can truly call this a recipe because I didn’t really go by one. However, there are probably a billion different recipes out there.

Stuffed Green Bell Peppers

1lb ground turkey
1/4 cup shredded cheddar cheese (1/4 for each bell pepper, so 1 cup of cheese total)
Black beans
Corn
Onion
Garlic
Whatever other vegetables you’d like! Be crazy and add rice or quinoa!

I cut the tops off the peppers, pulled out all the guts, and placed them in a 9×13 pan, or whatever pan they fit into. My peppers were pretty big. I put the ground turkey, onions, and garlic in a pan and browned it and then added corn and black beans near the end. I filled each of the green peppers with the mixture. After the bell peppers are filled, add the cheese to the top. Broil them until the cheese is bubbly and starting to brown (I would add some cheese throughout the mixture next time). My oven broils at 500 degrees.

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In the words of Johnny Bravo: “Whhooaaaa mmaaamaaa!”

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Living for T

Two years ago, just a few minutes past midnight, I shook my husband awake. “Time this…ok, how long was that?” My husband, bleary eyes instantly becoming huge, said, “Oh my God. That was only a minute.” He shot out of bed and started getting things in the pickup.

Seeing as this was my first child, I was really dumb. I kept calling the hospital earlier that afternoon and asking them if I should come. They told me that if I felt I was in labor I should come, but it could be a false alarm, which is common for first-time moms.

I didn’t want to miss work that Monday for a false alarm, so I waited…from 5:00PM until after midnight when I kept getting woke up by twinges of pain. I also waited until there was a complete ND, white-out blizzard. If you’ve ever been to the mid-west during one of its blizzards, y’all know what I’m talking about. Plus we had to drive 75 miles to get to my hospital. We barely made it on the interstate before highway patrol shut it down. The going was slow and no visibility at times, but we made it. I called my mom 10 minutes from the hospital to tell her because I knew if I called her before I left she would have called the ambulance. Anyway, we made it, I got roomed and was 6cm along when I arrived.

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At 11:27AM my life changed forever. I was greeted by a pair a beautiful eyes (and chin) that mimicked mine in the most perfect way. It’s amazing how natural everything comes when you have a baby. Well, most everything. I can’t say it was always easy, but I trusted myself to know what was best. I remember soaking in my epsom salt bath looking up articles on how to breastfeed or what temperature was best for his room. I remember trying to change his diaper for the first time and wondering how in the heck I never learned this in 25 years. I worried constantly about if I did the right thing.

I don’t think the worrying stops, but today I have a happy, healthy two year old. I did everything I thought was best as a mom. He walks, he can slay any animal noise, he’s independent, a daredevil, and loves his puppy and kitty. He’s smiley and active, and while he can throw a mean tantrum when he doesn’t get his way, he can also give the sweetest kisses.

He’s the reason this blog got started. I wanted to document my weight loss journey, and I named my blog Living 4 T because that’s what I am doing: I’m living for my son, Tristan. I’m becoming more positive, more energized, more active for him so he can grow up to be a good person who leads a healthy life too. His presence has made me want to be a healthier person, so I’m setting an example for the beautiful boy that graced my life two years ago. I’m living for today, tomorrow, and Tristan.

Happy 2nd birthday, sweetheart. Mommy loves you more than you’ll ever know. Thank you for making me a better person and for helping me to believe in myself, that I’m worth it.